I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
