Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
