gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
