Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
