I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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