Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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