Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
