i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
