I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
