jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
