i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize