So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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