Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
