Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
