It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
