worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
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about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.