so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.