His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.