I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
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She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm always down for nudity.
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