The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
