Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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