ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
