So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am puke
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize