I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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