I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
