He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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