dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize