No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
