Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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