It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
