the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize