just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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