Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
