Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
