I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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