Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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