My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
