fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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