On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
