I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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