We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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