Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
