At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize