I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize