have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
