His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
