just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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