check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
