Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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