I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
