nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
