and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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