he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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