From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
