One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
