Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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