so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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