Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
