The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he thought i was a dude.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize