So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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