Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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