I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
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he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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