If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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