I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
