I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The adults are the big ones right?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
